Call to Worship:

Do not leave yourself at the door,
when you come in to this community –
enter with your longing,
your joy,
your rage,
your grieving,
your identity,
your entire self.

Come with all of who you are –
and know that you are loved.

Come in kindness
and be whole.

Let us enter into worship together.

 

Readings:

During these turbulent times we must remind ourselves repeatedly that life goes on. This we are apt to forget. The wisdom of life transcends our wisdoms; the purpose of life outlasts our purposes; the process of life cushions our processes. The mass attack of disillusion and despair, distilled out of the collapse of hope, has so invaded our thoughts that what we know to be true and valid seems unreal and ephemeral. There seems to be little energy left for aught but futility. This is the great deception. By it whole peoples have gone down to oblivion without the will to affirm the great and permanent strength of the clean and the commonplace. Let us not be deceived. It is just as important as ever to attend to the little graces by which the dignity of our lives is maintained and sustained. Birds still sing; the stars continue to cast their gentle gleam over the desolation of the battlefields, and the heart is still inspired by the kind word and the gracious deed. There is no need to fear evil. There is every need to understand what it does, how it operates in the world, what it draws upon to sustain itself. We must not shrink from the knowledge of the evilness of evil.

To drink in the beauty that is within reach, to clothe one’s life with simple deeds of kindness, to keep alive sensitiveness to the movement of the spirit of God in the quietness of the human heart and in the workings of the human mind – this is as always the ultimate answer to the great deception.

– Howard Thurman

 

Yes there will be a revolution but one unlike any other.

It will be a revolution of the heart, one in which we do not destroy what we have created, nor one in which we destroy those who claim ownership of our creations. Rather we will ask them to walk among us and live like the rest of us, within the justice of moderate means.

Our revolution will be unlike past revolutions to the extent that the brutality we have come to know in past revolutions won’t weigh so heavily upon our souls that we forget how to be kind.

Our revolution will be a revolution of kindness.

It has begun in our hearts and manifests through deeds and grows stronger day by day until one day, suddenly, quietly we discover that we have won.

There will be no parades, no celebrations, just a victory as simple as turning to the person next to you and saying “hello.”

– Utah Phillips

 

Keep my anger from becoming meanness.
Keep my sorrow from collapsing into self-pity.
Keep my heart soft enough to keep breaking.
Keep my anger turned toward justice, not cruelty.

Remind me that all of this,
every bit of it,
is for love.

Keep me fiercely kind.

– Laura Jean Truman (they/them)

  

Sermon: “Being Kind in an Unkind Age”
Rev. Dan Schatz

“PARKING VIOLATION,” the yellow slip said. It went on –  “This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two. Because of your bull headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, and 1 goat. The reason for giving you this is so that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. Besides I don’t like domineering, egotistical or simple minded drivers and you probably fit into one of these categories. I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.) Also may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.” It ended with the words “With my compliments.”

Someone slipped an entire pack of these into my Christmas stocking.

At first I chuckled and wondered whether I could get away with using them for the cars that park in our congregation’s loading zone all week, or use the handicap spaces without any right or reason. My second thought was that as satisfying as it might be to fantasize about such things, in real life it wouldn’t be funny so much as just rude, no matter how much the recipient might justly deserve it. In the end, it would inevitably do more harm than good to our congregation’s reputation and our relationship with our neighbors.

It sure would be tempting though. It’s things like that – when someone parks in the handicap spot, or runs stop signs, or cuts people off in traffic, or perhaps, I don’t know, enables a Fascist takeover of your country’s government, that really test a person’s theology.

Yeah, I did say that, and yes, I believe it, and yes, we have to deal with it. It’s been hard, these last years – and especially the last few months – to remember kindness. So much of our society has been taken by divisiveness, hatred, and outright cruelty. I don’t have another word for demonizing refugees, attacking LGBTQ people, banning fair hiring practices, cutting medical assistance to the vulnerable, demanding political concessions for disaster relief. It’s cruel, it’s deliberate, and it is so tempting to respond to hatred with hatred.

I’ve seen that happen, too, even among those of us who support a more compassionate world. I’ve seen people preach economic justice in one moment, and in the next praise assassination as a means of achieving that goal. I’ve seen people parrot old cultural and religious stereotypes and tropes about people from one part of the country or another, or one religion or another.

We have reason to be angry when those in power dismantle progress it took decades and centuries to achieve. We have reason to grieve when we are faced with just how much more work we’re going to have to do than we thought, and when we are also faced with the reality of just how powerful unkindness can be – whether it’s racism, transphobia, xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, or simply choosing to act in ways that are inhumane. We know that we can’t bury our heads and hide. Acquiescence to injustice is not a solution. But neither can we achieve meaningful progress if we become what we abhor.

Gandhi once said that “The means may be likened to a seed, the end to a tree; and there is just the same inviolable connection between the means and the end as there is between the seed and the tree.” We cannot counter unkindness with more of the same. What we need to do is create something better. We need to teach compassion and care and the transforming power of love. We need to find our way forward – to push for the issues that mean so much to us and to others – but remembering always that we are creating a kinder and more just world. That work begins with each of us. It is the hard, spiritual work of adding goodness and kindness into this aching earth.

A couple of days ago, my colleague Daniel Gregoire said this: “Now you might say that this is not the time for compassion, but rather combat, but even here we are still called to seek understanding, to forebear injury, to connect with empathy and to attend with reverence to all of creation. The fear of this moment is simply information, alerting us to what is in need of protection and defense…. Let us guard our hearts as we rise to the occasion to defend ourselves and preserve human worth and dignity. And, may this practice of compassion in difficult circumstances move us to heal a broken world.”

Here’s what that doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean we have to be friends with everybody. Fake parking tickets notwithstanding, kindness is not the same as being polite. Personally, I don’t see much purpose in going out of our way to be rude, but we don’t have to “make nice” to be kind. We don’t have to pretend our feelings are not real or valid. We feel what we feel. Some of us might be feeling some rage, right now. Some of us might be feeling deep grief. We feel what we feel. The question is how we choose to act. Kindness absolutely doesn’t mean we allow others to hurt us, to hurt others, or that we ignore the real damage being done to real people in favor of some kind of “agree to disagree” libertarianism. That’s not what this is about. I believe that when people are being hurt, we have a responsibility to say something. And let me say right now and unequivocally that transgender people are real, are sacred, and have a right to identity and dignity. Immigrants have a right to a home and to justice and compassion, and the children of immigrants have a right to their citizenship and to their families. Women have a right to choose whether or not to carry a baby. Lesbian and gay couples have a right to marry. And Black lives matter. Being kind does not mean backing down.

Being kind means speaking up for those who are targeted, marginalized, vulnerable. If some of us have some privilege in this country, it is our moral obligation to use it on behalf of those who do not.

Being kind also means that we when speak up and when we act up, we do so in ways that reflect our values. Unitarian Universalism does not boil down to “Practice love, except towards those we hate,” even when we are legitimately angry and afraid. The faith that enlivens my heart and animates my life is harder than that. The measure of our morals is not only how we treat those with whom we feel the most sympathy or agreement – it’s the far more difficult test of how we treat those whose actions we despise.

If we fall into the trap of dehumanizing those we oppose, what happens to us? At the least, we feed their narratives and aid their cause. Worse, we risk becoming them. That is the great danger. That’s how evil works – instilling itself in the hearts of its victims. We can’t let it happen to us. It’s hard, I know. There are lots of people right now in the public sphere I would love to hate – I’m sure we could all agree on a few. But I just can’t let myself go there – it’s against everything I believe. Howard Thurman’s words from so many years ago come back to remind us: “Over and over we must know that the real target of evil is not destruction of the body, the reduction to rubble of cities; the real target of evil is to corrupt the spirit of [humanity] and to give [our souls] the contagion of inner disintegration. When this happens, there is nothing left, the very citadel of [humanity] is captured and laid waste. Therefore the evil in the world around us must not be allowed to move from without to within. This would be to be overcome by evil.”

Ceding our kindness gives those who thrive on cruelty the ultimate victory. It’s what they want. And I refuse to give them that victory. I refuse to become what I oppose.

Our faith values love and justice, affirms that every human being is inherently worthy, and calls us to compassion. I believe in my soul that the way to counter brutality and hatred is through the transforming power of love – not the emotion, but a way of being. We feel what we feel, but when it comes to our actions, I believe in my heart that the way we overcome this age of unkindness is by living our values, and not just professing them.

This isn’t only a question of social justice. We will absolutely speak up and act on the social issues of our day. At the same time, I would like to assure you that don’t intend to spend the next four years making political speeches every week – I don’t think that’s what you need. I won’t hide what I believe, and I won’t hold back when something needs to be said, just as I don’t believe our congregation should hold back when something needs to be done. It is more important now than ever that our Unitarian Universalist voice for justice is heard. But to paraphrase Star Trek’s Dr. McCoy, “Dammit Jim, I’m a preacher, not a pundit.” We’re a congregation, not a political party. We don’t need to be told what we already know.

What we need, I believe, is to come together, learn together, grow together, and support one another in a far longer and greater mission. Our calling is not only to oppose the evils of this day, it is to actively create a society in which evil does not thrive.

Remember those signs, so popular eight years ago, and I think they’re making a comeback – “Hate has no home here?” That’s the kind of world we need to create. No, it won’t happen quickly, and no, and we might not be around to see the realization of all our efforts. It took us a long time to get into this mess, and it takes just as long to create something better. But I believe that nothing is so important as to give ourselves and our efforts to create a society of kindness.

It begins with each of us, in the smallest and the simplest ways. As Dr. Thurman taught, “To drink in the beauty that is within reach, to clothe one’s life with simple deeds of kindness, to keep alive sensitiveness to the movement of the spirit of God in the quietness of the human heart and in the workings of the human mind – this is as always the ultimate answer to the great deception.”

We need to be kind with ourselves, and we need to be kind with each other. In this time, when so many of us are under so much stress, we especially need to be kind with ourselves and each other. Practice compassion. Embrace community. Start with the people in front of you. It is a stressful time – how will you practice compassion? How will you reach out in love to those in pain? How will you forgive the times when we don’t live up to best selves? How will you practice love with the people you love?

Take it to the community around you. What do people need? Maybe it’s something as simple as a smile or some help, or maybe someone needs your support and solidarity. How will you have your neighbor’s back?

Think of the causes you embrace. What motivates you, deep in your heart, to support those causes? I don’t know about you, but so much that I believe in boils down to kindness and compassion. The freedom to live authentically, to make our own choices about family and reproduction, and our bodies, the dignity of having enough to eat, respect for our common humanity – that’s what kindness is.

Of course, it’s easy enough to do what we’re already motivated to do, and a lot harder when it comes to practicing kindness toward those who have set themselves against all that we hold dear.

But I learned something this past week about the root of the word “kindness.” It comes from the old English word cynn,c-y-n-n, meaning nature or family. It shares a root with the word “child.” Literally, to practice kindness is to see others as kin.

What would it mean to claim all of humanity as kin? What would it mean to claim all people as our children? How would it motivate us to lend our voices and hands to those who need us? How would it change the way we interact with each other, even when we disagree, especially when we disagree? How would it animate our work for freedom and justice? How would it impact the spirit in which we work for freedom and justice?

If we believe in God, can we learn to see God in each other – even when we are justifiably angry, even when we are doing what we need to do to protect ourselves and those we love? If we honor the sacred, can we look for the sacred in the other? If we believe in love, can we hold on to some piece of that transforming and enlivening power, even as we confront injustice?

What would it mean to live as kin to each other? What would it mean to seek a better world not for some people, not for “our kind of people,” but for all people? What would it mean to create the beloved community on Earth by living the values of that community in all our work and all our relationships? What would it mean for us to make kindness our spiritual practice?

We would not be the first or the last to follow such a path. It’s the Buddhist practice of metta, or loving-kindness. It’s Gandhi’s satyagraha – soul force or love-force. It’s Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s agape. It’s to become what Bayard Rustin called an “angelic troublemaker.” And I believe beyond all of this, that to make kindness our spiritual practice is to embrace the best within us. It’s to grow in spirit, heart, and mind, it’s to love through care and community, it’s to serve beyond ourselves. That’s literally our mission as a congregation. It’s to choose a life of integrity. And step by step by step, it is to give ourselves to the work of healing this bruised and hurting world.

Call it love, call it hope, call it revolution, call it a choice to be kind – the future we seek is already among us, in our deepest hearts. Our task is to take that vision and to live by it.

 

If, here, you have found freedom,
take it with you into the world.

If you have found comfort,
go and share it with others.

If you have dreamed dreams,
help one another,
that they may come true.

If you have known love,
give some back
to a bruised and hurting world.

Go in peace.

– Lauralyn Bellamy